The Adult Asperger’s Experience

Early in this series I mentioned that Asperger’s may have some hidden advantages. You likely think of anything on the Autistic Spectrum as a bad thing. Full of scary life problems. Yes, there are problems, but let’s look at another side of Asperger’s. Asperger’s syndrome is not a life of grey ashes: This is the third of five articles which look at the positive side, the unique benefits which are given to these folks.

Benefit #2: high personal regard

What are my credentials? I did Aspergers. Been there. Bought the T-shirt. I’ve lived the Asperger’s life since birth, and while my diagnosis has been recent, that is because my teachers, family, classmates had no clue — and neither did I. While I don’t pretend to diagnose, prescribe, label, push drugs, or any such thing. But I know what it feels like from the inside out and that’s more than most professionals can say — Unless, they too, know the social vacuum that is Aspergers from the inside.

So with that perspective, let us go on to:

Benefit #3: High Personal regard

Folks with aspergers very often have a high regard for themselves:  We think we  are pretty good.

And why not?  We generally have our vision unclouded by the “crowd mentality.”   It is inherent with our Asperger’s symptoms that we are not affected by the emotional carrier waves that binds our “normally wired” associates in,  well, herd activities.

On standard tests like the PAI, the Personality Assessment Inventory, people with Aspergers often score high in areas that reflect overconfidence, feelengs of persecution or narcissism. But, more likely, it could easily be that an Aspie has learned to do without the exernal need for approval, but may just be looking outside for ‘reality checks’. If you, as an aspie, have a good internal compass you may just feel extra good about who you are, or, if you are still depending in other people’s expectations, you could feel more persecuted than others. Feelling good about yourself being unbound by other peoples expectations or feelling like the focus of a conspiracy all depends on your level of reality checking, and emotional independence.

I myself have had this feeling of persecution when I was in grade school, but when I realized just how expensive in dollars and time and energy an actual systematic persecution, a cabal, a conspiracy really would be, I  dropped that idea.

Real coping skills came much later for me, specifically; after learning neuro-linguistic (NLP) skills of rapport,  I realized that I could, with effort, fact tune into other people.  Not with a free form group and enjoy the nuances of ‘small talk’, mind you,  but that isn’t the same as being completely cut off. And in a one-on-one conversation, I can detect, track and engage in a person’s internal world easily and effectively.

Now, with skills learned through NLP, I have emotional resilience that is extremely high:  I can come out of a funk in moments, and drop anxiety as easily as flushing the toilet.  Other, stickier emotions like anger or the dread of unfounded accusations only require a few rounds of EFT, and they are gone too.

Those feelings of confidence and worth, combined with other readings from a standard test like the PAI, might cause a psychologist to infer a diagnosis of delusional megalomania or narcissism: a craving for admiration or a overly grand view of your own talents.  Your talents may be great indeed, but unless they are useful to the world at large, just be cool with the fact that the world at large may not appreciate them.