The Adult Asperger’s Experience

Asperger’s Syndrome is an increasing concern among parents and adults. The public perception of Geeks or “Rain men” have made it seem that the differences outweigh the common humanity we all share.

Rather than looking at the symptoms and the inherent difficulties of Aspergers, this is the first of five articles which look at the benefits, the unique advantages which are given to these folks.

You likely think of high functioning autism as a bad thing. Full of scary life problems. You may even think it should be called “Asperger’s Disease” rather than “Asperger’s Syndrome.”

I would like to tell you of the flip side of the issue. HFA and Asperger’s has big benefits. Let me repeat that: BIG benefits.

Benefit #1: You are your own person!

How do I know? Because, I, at sixty years old, have been mystified for all my life at how I am supposedly ‘different’ from everyone else. When I was 55, I read a newspaper article about Sir Isaac Newton and a possible connection to this ‘thing’ called Asperger’s Syndrome. I read all the effects and realized that I had many of these same aspects in my make up. I went to an expert in the field in my city, and, yes, the expert confirmed my thoughts. In fact, I went to more than one, and confirmed that diagnosis.

OK, does that make me an expert? Well, yes and no. No, I don’t pretend to diagnose, prescribe, label, push drugs, or any such thing. And I can only speak from my own experience and readings. But yes, I know intimately how the social vacuum feels and how it has affected me and those around me. What is it like? Well, that’s a subject for a whole ‘nother posting, and, you may already have some idea about that.

What you need now is a bit of reality check and assurance that there are gems to be found in this twisty maze called Asperger’s. I know there are some benefits. And I want to share them with you.

Benefit #1: You are your own person!

One of the biggest effects of any form of the Autistic Spectrum is a separation from the non-verbal and emotional communication of other people. It has a lesser effect. Mostly, this gets in the way when the goal is to be a socialite. But what if the goal is NOT to be a socialite, but to have independent ideas, values and attitudes? When it is important to be your own person.

Asperger’s syndrome accomodates this perfectly. By separating from the tyranny of the mass mind, a person with Aspergers can look at the world from a more objective view. Take the long perspective on situations. You can see through the bull and posturing: usually in retrospect, unfortunatly, but you have the raw material for wisdom if you choose to make your own way with that information.

But this is a choice: if you always take the choice to try to be a socialite, you are probably not working with your advantages, but against them. The baby swan that Hans Christian Anderson talks about is never going to be a duck: plain and simple. So make a choice to work with your advantages.

If you are a person with Asperger’s or HFA, make a consious choice to identify those areas where you can be independent in your thoughts and personality. And go for it. Who knows, you may have a life perspective that helps other’s manage their own lives better. You can learn to communicate and help others, too. But that’s another advantage for another article, is it not?

If you are a parent, just know that your child does not have to be little miss socialite, and make sure she knows it. A life exploring butterflies or dinosaurs or whatever is fine and dandy for a kid. If he is called the ‘little professor’ by his classmates, that may be a good thing when it comes time to help others with homework. Your opportunity as a parent is to allow the kind of interactions that make sense for your child and to help his school acquaintences bridge the gap in understanding in return for that highly valued help in geometry. Remember that all those ‘normally wired’ NT’s (neuro-typical) are as cut off from your child as he is from them.

The advantage of being your own person is a big one and can be an early life learning for any one with Asperger’s. Accept it. And as early in life as possible. Being your own person is a good thing.